good morning I just woke up obsessed with the idea of a movie filmed in the style of a true crime documentary except it’s in the Twilight universe and a bunch of completely ordinary humans are trying to figure out why Bella effectively disappeared after high school without knowing anything about vampires
let’s review the Facts of the Case as far as anyone who’s not in on the secret knows them
super normal teenage girl moves to small town
becomes obsessed with a guy who by all appearances is in a cult
the incident where they dramatically broke up and Bella tried to go back to Phoenix but Edward followed her and they got back together but also Bella’s leg got mysteriously broken
another dramatic breakup and this time the entire family skips town leaving Bella catatonically depressed
sudden trip to Italy??? and then the entire family comes back???
Whatever Happened In Eclipse I Don’t Remember
Bella marries boyfriend of approx. a year and a half, goes away on an exotic vacation and immediately contracts a life threatening disease
is rarely seen in public again until her mysterious death, which if I’m remembering correctly is a thing?? because Bella was pretty sure her mom wouldn’t be able to handle the vampire thing and that they were going to have to fake a death which is!! fucked UP
also apparently the Cullens haven’t ever bothered with, like, changing their names, so if anyone goes poking around they’re easily going to discover a family of seven rich weirdos moving around various overcast cities together for at least a century
tell me you wouldn’t watch this shit
highlights:
generic Missing White Woman opening that rapidly spirals into interviews Bella’s hilarious tacky high school classmates talking shit about the Cullens (Mike Newton’s Time To Shine)
Charlie (who Knows) uncomfortably lying to the camera about how of course he’s Very Sad about all of this and misses his daughter a whole lot. the crew immediately begins speculating about Charlie’s involvement.
a few scenes shot in Italy. the voice over concludes that there are no clues to be found there while a Volturi member hovers very obviously in the background for the audience’s enjoyment
testimonies about Carlisle’s character that end with the interviewee getting distracted thinking how hot he was, including Charlie
a segment trying to figure out what the Fuck Jacob’s involvement is followed by a montage of werewolves slamming their front doors in the crew’s faces
a brief mention of the murder spree that happened in Seattle during Bella’s senior year but quickly shrugging it off as DEFINITELY unrelated to any of this
trying to dig into where the Cullens lived before Forks and quickly realizing that None Of These Children Existed Before the Age of Seventeen
briefly toying with a kidnapping scenario before stumbling onto a record of the Cullens in some other town that’s JUST old enough to be inconsistent with the ages they were supposed to be in Forks
“wait I think all the kids were actually in their twenties, maybe?”
why are star wars planets more boring than earth and our solar system like sure we’ve seen desert, snow, diff types of forest, beach, lava, rain, but like…
rainbow mountains (peru)
red soil (canada/PEI)
rings (saturn’s if they were on earth)
bioluminescent waves
northern lights (canada)
salt flats (bolivia, where they filmed crait but did NOTHING COOL WITH IT except red dust?? like??? come ON)
and cool fauna like the touch me not or like, you know, the venus flytrap.. and don’t get me started on BUGS like… we have bugs cooler than sw aliens
BASICALLY like???? come on star wars you had one (1) job where are the cool alien species
I KNOW!! I did a report on filming locations in Star Wars last year and just made a list of places that looked so surreal they could make a convincing other planet. You covered some on my list but if I could just add a couple more:
Tsingy di Bemaraha, Madagascar
Zhangye Danxia, China (similar to the Rainbow Mountains in terms of appearance)
Chocolate Hills, Philippines
Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland
So many missed opportunities with cool ass things on Earth, Lucasfilms smh…
Earth is effing amazing!
Quebrada de Humahuaca, Argentina
Lake Retba, Senegal
Tepui, Venezuela
Tianzi Mountains, China
these would make amazing Star Wars planets OR fantasy material:
Tsingy du Bemaraha, Madagascar again (but a different part)
(those are razor-sharp, if you were wondering. very little of this area has been explored because YIKES)
Lake Natron, Tanzania
(looks cool, but is alkaline enough to Kill Your Shit)
Lake Baikal, Russia
(the deepest lake in the world, seriously)
and I’ll wrap it up with Son Doong Cave, Vietnam, the largest cave in the entire world.
it puts anything Dagobah has to offer to absolute shame:
(seriously, the largest chamber is 660 feet high. you could jam a fucking skyscraper in there and still lose it)
anyway I really like caves thanks for coming to my ted talk
@ DC & Marvel comics – LET. YOUR. HEROES. BE. FRIENDS. AGAIN. The constant ‘community shattering’ events have long since gotten old and just make the heroes in question look like overgrown children.
why am i seeing bbterra discourse in 2017 from a teen titans writer/producer
Also, Aelita very clearly returned Jeremy’s affections. They went slow as a couple because THEY’RE YOUNG, and also not used to romance, and she was very respectful of his skittishness. I think they’d have dated way before they actually did if it had been solely up to Aelita.
Kim and Ron were also the endgame couple, and did they miss the entire episode about Kim’s jealousy?
A+ response from the creator, this is what I like to ser
Also, Libby and Sheen were dating too. I distinctly remember an episode where she tells him ‘This is your girlfriend talking to you’.
not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it
how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?
here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.
Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)
not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it
how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?
here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.
Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)
not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it
how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?
here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.
Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)
not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it
how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?
here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.
Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)
not that my input really matters, but i don’t know much of lgbt history other than bits and pieces of stonewall, a little bit of the aids crisis, and the legalization of gay marriage; i’m an actual child and nobody here (kentucky) educates anyone/gets educated on it
how about instead of shaming people—especially young people—for not knowing our history, we provide them with credible resources?
here’s a long list of LGBT+ historical events worth googling and learning about. i’m not sure if all the dates and details are spot on, but, again, this is really just a guide for what to research on your own. to warn you, a lot of this history is ugly, including things like the conflation of pedophilia and LGBT+ people, genital mutilation, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, and wide scale persecution.
Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community (warning: this documentary was made in the 80s and is dated in a lot of respects as a result; it also features quotes from Allen Ginsberg, who we now know was a pedophile, but it’s still very informative in terms of history)
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